Meditation has made me a calmer and happier person . The daily practice has allowed me to slowly let go of some strong tendencies in my mind that cause worry and fear. For example, it has helped me let go of perfectionism.
I used to be very concerned about doing things well since I like to excel. And along with this I had a strong perfectionist streak. If I made a mistake or experienced a small failure I tended to be very hard on myself. I used to criticize myself a lot and feel bad about myself.
Meditation has helped me let go of this perfectionist tendency to a great extent. The peace and joy I experience in meditation gives me emotional strength. When a situation comes up and I make a mistake instead of blowing it out of proportion I am more easygoing. I can learn from my mistake and move on. The emotions of fear, regret, self-blame and sadness still come up but they are not as intense as they used to be. There is an undercurrent of happiness and confidence that allows me to go through it with more equinamity .
The sense of well-being that I experience in my meditation practice carries over into the rest of my life. Now since my mind is calmer I appreciate the beauty around me. The clouds floating across the sky, the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the different expressions on people’s faces.
I enjoy whatever I do more whether it is washing dishes, working on a technical problem , writing technical architecture documents, driving around, talking to my family or attending meetings. The everyday activities have become more enjoyable. My mind is more in the present moment and so I am more productive.
Previously I would worry and obsess about doing things right which caused a lot of unnecessary thoughts and blocked my productivity. Nowadays I act more happily without so much concern about the results. Sometimes the meal I’m cooking comes out great and sometimes it doesn’t but in any case I enjoy the process.
Earlier my fear of making mistakes blocked me from being creative. While a certain amount of caution is appropriate, too much caution is inhibiting. Nowadays, I am more relaxed in whatever I do and so the quality of my work has improved and so has the quality of my life. I can explore my capabilities. I like to do software architecture. Now I can enjoy the process more, take more risks, think out of the box and come up with a more creative design.
I have a desire to excel and do things well. With meditation I can do things well but without the pain of worry and the fear of not being good enough. Meditation has given me this freedom. There is so much joy in the present moment. I am now able to experience it.