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To Paradise, and Not Back

Feb 12, 2014 at 8:40 PM PST

 

Meditation and Freedom

Meditation and Freedom

Sitting in my living room, I watch the beautiful lake outside, the willows waving a friendly hello, the ducks quacking, the fish and turtle coming to shore for sun.

I am sipping my morning tea in ecstasy.  Life is about enjoying little things right ? I may not need the silence course after all. I am happy.

I watch my 3 year old with such amusement.  I am wonderstruck with the actions of this little person.  I can watch and listen to her all day long. I cannot be grateful enough for her. I am a mother, I am happy !

I announce to my friends I signed up for the Silence Course with Sri Sri.  My friends are super excited for me. I am not sure what to feel, or expect.? Will I change?  Will something change ? Will I know the purpose of my life ? Does the Guru even know I exist ? My mind is a tangled ball of hair.

Here’s how it went:

December 25

I am in Boone, in the third row of the main meditation hall waiting anxiously to set my eyes on Guruji for the first time.  I can sense him from a distance with my eyes closed, as if there is a fragrance that entered before him.

Silence Course Day 1

The chaotic day.

I wake to a cold winter morning . . . I to come out of the warm blanket.

I become generous enough to let my roommates shower before me.

I shower in ice cold water.

I cry.

I am thinking of my little daughter who was ill when I left home.

I push myself through the day with a splitting headache.

I skip my dinner.

I want to scream my head off !

I feel like a prisoner making plans to escape.

It is nearly 10 pm when I head to the dining room. To my surprise  I see freshly steamed rice and other dishes laid out inviting me to eat. My throat is choking with gratitude. I eat the most delicious meal of my life.

Day 2

Missing home.

I wake up with tears.

Cold wind hits my sinuses.

I want to run back home.

In the afternoon, during the advanced meditation, something changes. A sense of calm comes. I am assured everything is fine back home and my daughter is feeling better.

Day 3

Silence has started .

It is so natural to me.

I am feeling lighter physically and mentally due to the yoga, meditations and light,  nutritious food.

I am enjoying it.

A million questions pop into my head, waiting for answers from the guru.

Day 4

I am patting myself on the back for having reached this far.

What a beautiful winter morning it is . . . not so cold.

It is Paradise.

I am breathing in every moment . . .  filling my senses.

Breathtaking blue ridge mountains . . . as far as my eyes can see.

I wonder why my camera cannot capture what my eyes see.

The sky is very special this morning . . . it has a message for me . . . “My child there are greater things than the view from your patio.”

I realize I am just an atom in this vast creation . . . one particle in the many galaxies.

Words are inadequate to express my first Silence Course with Sri Sri himself.

Every question is answered.

My entangled hairball mind is detangled with the comb of knowledge.

When the guru wants to meet his disciple then “all is taken care of.”  Yes!

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Renuka reddy

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